Altar Girl
On my morning walk, about a week ago, I decided to walk to St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church, where there is a beautiful community seed garden, outdoor worship area, rainbow flag (signifying that all are welcome), food pantry, and a labyrinth. The land is cared for beautifully by this congregation, and it is a spiritual place for me.
I decided to go there this particular morning because I was going to be facilitating a Toltec Sacred Journey Breathwork ceremony in their parish hall later that day, and I wanted to visit the land and connect.
I don’t belong to this congregation officially, but this is the closest that I get to organized religion. I was raised in the Catholic church, but as I came into my own, I realized that there were too many incongruencies with how the church treated women and girls, the level of shame and fear at the foundation of the teachings, the brutally violent and wildly hypocritical history, and of course the sexual abuse constantly in the news. I left the Catholic church long ago, and I have always longed for spirituality.
Back to my morning walk. I was walking by the sanctuary, and there was a small service in progress. A little girl, maybe 6, walked out of the sanctuary, and she was dressed as an altar girl. I stopped to watch her, and my heart lept with joy!
Oh my gosh, an altar girl. I have never seen an altar girl. Yay!
She was adorable, and she was on a mission. She picked a small bouquet of flowers, and she ran back to the sanctuary. I couldn’t stop smiling.
I felt so happy for this little girl that her spirituality was starting at this church. She is getting the message from her female pastor that she is enough. That she can participate. That she is important. That she, too, can someday be a spiritual leader if she chooses.
My heart was singing, my face was smiling, and my chest was filled with love.
This is a moment. It was meant to be. I was meant to see this little girl and heal that part of myself that was told she couldn’t be an altar girl solely because she was a girl. She couldn’t grow up to be a spiritual leader because women aren’t allowed.
I thought my brother was so lucky that he got to be an altar boy. That he got to participate in the weekly mass that my mother believed in so deeply.
As I continued on my walk, I couldn’t stop thinking about the altar girl.
Oh, that little girl…
This is not a small thing. This little girl is not only part of a church that treats all members equally, but she gets to actively participate in the services. She gets to feel representation when she looks admiringly at her female pastor. She gets to grow up not feeling less than in her faith. This is foundational for her. It fully supports her foundation of self-love.
My eyes started welling up with tears of joy.
Later that day, I was able to embody my spiritual leadership at a deeper level because of this experience. I held a loving and safe space, and several people participating in the ceremony had deeply profound and meaningful experiences.
It was such an important moment for me that on this Easter Sunday, I am thinking about the altar girl and all the possibilities she holds for the future.
I am grateful for all the religious organizations that treat all humans equally and do not exclude them based on gender, race, and sexual orientation. Where any human is welcome to pray, learn, and participate.
If you are in Northern California, you are invited to join our twice-a-month Toltec Sacred Journey Breathwork ceremonies in this spiritual place. If you are elsewhere, please join my email list, to be notified of events I will be facilitating in your area!
Tina Green is the “Self-Love Queen,” and she is the Founder, Owner, and Transformational Coach at Exposing The Roots.
Through her coaching, Toltec Sacred Journey Breathwork, sacred rituals, women’s circles, and retreats, Tina partners with women to increase their self-love. She is especially passionate about women loving their bodies!
Tina believes that when a woman learns to love herself, everything changes, and anything is possible.
Tina is an ordained Minister of the Healing Arts, Toltec Sacred Journey Breathwork Facilitator, #1 Best-Selling Author, trained Life Coach, and Chef.
Tina brings her vital mother energy and lived experience to everyone she serves.
She also has 20 years of experience as an executive in non-profit and financial services.
Tina lives with her husband and two teenage daughters in Northern California. She is a personal transformation enthusiast, life-long student, foodie, outdoor adventurer, music and theatre lover, and traveler.
